by Mignon Fogarty
In this week's article, I'm going to share some of the funniest stories people have told me about errors that went out in e-mail messages and published materials.
The reason I have so many funny stories to share is that a few days ago I made an embarrassing error in the Grammar Girl e-mail newsletter. I called the Christian Science Monitor the Christian Scientist Monitor, and I was mortified. I posted a sad message to the Grammar Girl Facebook page and people started sharing their stories to make me feel better.
Pretty soon I was laughing instead of crying, and I just had to pass the best stories on to you.
Religion
To me, some of the funniest stories are where typos and religion mix.
Molly accidentally sent out a memo that was supposed to say “Meet with Chris in Tulsa.” Instead it said “Meet with Christ in Tulsa.” She said they joked that they never imagined the Second Coming would be in Oklahoma.
And then there's Jason who was making business cards for a church and accidentally set the type so that the church was offering a holy massage from God. I bet that feels heavenly.
Finally, I won't spell it out for you, but Kirby had a hilarious story about a pamphlet that left out an important letter in the title of the “Book of Titus.” Apparently some men suddenly thought the church seemed a lot more appealing.
References
References seem to be a place for embarrassing typos. Christina once got a recommendation letter for a job applicant who was reported to be a fat and accurate typist instead of a fast and accurate typist.
Yvette once got a frantic call from an office admin wanting her to find and destroy a letter that had accidentally been sent out calling someone a horrible man instead of an honorable man.
Names
Names can be tough because some spellcheckers ignore words that start with capital letters, or if they do check the word, they don't recognize the name and try to substitute something inappropriate.
Pete sent an e-mail to his entire department calling Dr. Morrison Dr. Moron, Gary referred to George Custard instead of George Custer in a news story, and Janet addressed a memo to Virgin instead of Virgil. Finally, Nicole called her friend Jen Hen so often in e-mail messages that it became poor Jen's nickname.
This isn't a name, it's a title, but I think it may be the worst of the batch. Judy worked with a legal secretary who typed “psychotherapist” as psycho the rapist
The Public United
There are two words that came up multiple times in funny stories. First, leaving the “l” out of “public” can cause giggles. Theresa wrote about a handsome young attorney who embarrassed himself over a public offering, and Lisa's director of public relations got called something else. Every teenager in Sara's town got a sports schedule from a mistyped public school, and the best one is on a resume Jonathan received from someone touting his past work in an "l"-less public cleaning area.
The second common errors is typing “united” as untied.” Grace attends a church of untied Methodists (everyone watch out, they're on the loose), and Beth, who is an English teacher, says her students regularly write about the Untied States of America.
Busty
Just like Kirby, some other people have chests on the brain. In response to a colleague who had written an e-mail message apologizing for not replying sooner because she had been so busy, Lee responded that he hoped she was less busty today. He sent a hasty follow-up message saying that he was in no way wishing her chest has shrunk.
Helie started an e-mail message to her lovable English teacher "I know you must be busty, but..." Luckily, she caught that error before she sent it, but apparently “busy” is another word we should all approach carefully.
Randomness
A medical transcriptionist reported that their voice recognition software does amusing things all the time such as changing “For erectile dysfunction, Cialis” to “For erectile dysfunction, see Alice.”
It's too bad Colleen's name isn't Alice, because she sent out a formal report that should have said “This report contains a compilation of information” but instead said “This report contains a copulation of information.”
Candi says her dad once sent her mom a text message that said “I love you, my previous wife" instead of “I love you, my precious wife.” That could cause problems!
Last week Rebecca received a proposal suggesting that her building could spruce up its interior by using faux pas painting.
Beth told someone he had written an excrement report instead of an excellent report, and one of Jenny's classmates wrote about new student urination instead of new student orientation.
Stephanie had a supervisor who meant to write that a meeting was happening in the warehouse, but instead directed people to the whorehouse, and Richard produced a farewell gift for a beloved nurse that was meant to say “to our Jane after 10 years” but ended up reading “to out Jane after 10 years.”
Thanks to everyone who posted stories. You really made my day.
