Well, one thing that happened is that my grandparents, the same grandparents of setting someone on fire fame,
首先是我的外公外婆，就是尝试在人身上点火的外公外婆，
they really shaped up by the time I came around. They provided me a stable home, a stable family.
在我出生之后改过自新了。他们给了我一个稳定的家，稳定的家庭。
They made sure that when my parents weren't able to do the things that kids need, they stepped in and filled that role.
他们竭尽全力，在我的父母无法尽到责任时他们能及时出现，顶替父母的角色。
My grandma especially did two things that really matter.
我的外婆做了2件非常重要的事。
One, she provided that peaceful home that allowed me to focus on homework and the things that kids should be focused on.
第一，她创造了和平的家庭环境，让我专心做功课，专心做孩子应该做的事情。
But she was also this incredibly perceptive woman, despite not even having a middle school education.
而且她是一位洞察力极强的女性，尽管连中学都没有上过。
She recognized the message that my community had for me, that my choices didn't matter, that the deck was stacked against me.
她察觉到了社区对我产生的不良影响，就是我们的选择毫无意义，我们面前有重重阻碍。
She once told me, "JD, never be like those losers who think the deck is stacked against them. You can do anything you want to."
有一次她告诉我，“JD，不要像那些没出息的人一样，觉得整个世界都在跟他们作对。你可以做成任何想做的事情。”
And yet she recognized that life wasn't fair.
尽管她知道生活是不公平的。
It's hard to strike that balance, to tell a kid that life isn't fair,
要打破这种平衡非常难，要告诉一个孩子生活不公平也非常难。
but also recognize and enforce in them the reality that their choices matter. But mamaw was able to strike that balance.
但即使这样，也要告诉孩子，他们的选择是有意义的。但是外婆能打破这种平衡。
The other thing that really helped was the United States Marine Corps.
另一个帮到我的就是美国海军陆战队。
So we think of the Marine Corps as a military outfit, and of course it is,
我们认为海军陆战队是一个军事单位，它当然是，
but for me, the US Marine Corps was a four-year crash course in character education.
但对我而言，美国海军陆战队是一次长达4年的性格教育课程。
It taught me how to make a bed, how to do laundry, how to wake up early, how to manage my finances.
它教会我如何铺床，怎么洗衣，怎么早起，怎么规划自己的开销。
These are things my community didn't teach me.
这些都是社区没有教我的东西。
I remember when I went to go buy a car for the very first time,
我还记得第一次去买车，
I was offered a dealer's low, low interest rate of 21.9 percent, and I was ready to sign on the dotted line.
一个经销商给了我非常非常“低”的贷款利息，21.9%，我都准备签合同了。
But I didn't take that deal, because I went and took it to my officer who told me,
但我最后没有签，因为我把合同拿给我的长官看，他告诉我，
"Stop being an idiot, go to the local credit union, and get a better deal."
“别傻了，去找本地的信贷联盟，拿一个更好的价。”
And so that's what I did. But without the Marine Corps, I would have never had access to that knowledge.
我照做了。如果没有海军陆战队，我可能永远也没法了解这个知识。
I would have had a financial calamity, frankly.
我可能还会遭遇财政危机。
