In the green room I received my uniform.
在绿色房间中我接到了我的制服。
It was not the kind of outfit that I normally wear, but it was far from the Michelin Man suit that I had anticipated.
这并不是我平时所穿衣服的类型，但是这并不是我之前所想象的米其林男孩似的服装。
Not bad, really. I looked like a refrigerator.
实际上并不差。我看上去像台电冰箱。
But so did most of the flag-bearers, except Sophia Loren, the universal symbol of beauty and passion.
所有的护旗手都穿上了制服，除了索菲亚·罗兰，她是公认的美丽和热情的化身。
Sophia is over 70 and she looks great. She's sexy, slim and tall, with a deep tan.
索菲亚已经超过70岁但仍然看上去很棒。她很性感，苗条并且很高，拥有古铜色皮肤。
Now, how can you have a deep tan and have no wrinkles? I don't know.
如何才能保持古铜色皮肤并且没有皱纹呢？我不知道。
When asked in a TV interview, "How could she look so good?"
电视采访时被问到：“她怎么看上去那么棒?”
She replied, "Posture. My back is always straight, and I don't make old people's noises."
她回复到：“姿势。我的背永远挺直，并且我不会发出像老年人那样的噪音。”
So, there you have some free advice from one of the most beautiful women on earth.
所以，现在你们得到了来自地球上最漂亮的女人之一的建议。
No grunting, no coughing, no wheezing, no talking to yourselves, no farting.
不要呻吟，不要咳嗽，不要气喘，不自言自语，不放屁。
Well, she didn't say that exactly.
她正是严格按照她所说的而做的。
At some point around midnight, we were summoned to the wings of the stadium,
在半夜的某个时候，我们被叫到运动场一侧，
and the loudspeakers announced the Olympic flag, and the music started -- by the way, the same music that starts here, the Aida March.
广播中传来会旗进场，同时音乐响起，顺便提一下，就是跟这里同样的音乐，阿依达进行曲。
Sophia Loren was right in front of me -- she's a foot taller than I am, not counting the poofy hair.
索菲亚·罗兰就站在我前面，比我高一个头，如果蓬松头不计算在内的话。
She walked elegantly, like a giraffe on the African savannah, holding the flag on her shoulder.
她步伐优雅，就像是非洲摹上的长颈鹿，将旗子一端扛在肩上。
I jogged behind -- on my tiptoes -- holding the flag on my extended arm, so that my head was actually under the damn flag.
我则在后面小跑着，掂着脚，举高手才勉强够到旗子，因此，我的头实际上是在那旗子下面。
All the cameras were, of course, on Sophia.
所有的镜头当然是索菲亚。
That was fortunate for me, because in most press photos I appear too, although often between Sophia's legs.
我还算幸运，因为后来登出的照片中都有我的存在，虽然常是在索菲亚的双腿间。
A place where most men would love to be.
那可是大多数男人梦寐以求的地方。
