公众人物毕业演讲第3期:雪莉桑德伯格哈佛大学2014毕业典礼演讲(3)

but it's the only way we can improve

A few years ago, Mark Zuckerberg decided he wanted to learn Chinese

and in order to practice

he started trying to have work meetings with some of

our Facebook colleagues who are native speakers

Now you would think his very limited language skills

would keep these conversations from being useful

One day he asked a woman who was there

how it was going, how did you choose the Facebook

She answered with a long and pretty complicated sentence

So he said, simpler please

She spoke again

Simpler please

This went back and forth a couple of times

So she is blurted out in frustration, my manager is bad

That he understood

So often the truth is sacrificed to conflict avoidance

or by the time we speak the truth, we've used so many caveats

and preambles that the message totally gets lost

So I ask you to ask each other for the truth and other people

can you list it in simple and clear language?

And when you speak your truth

can you use simple and clear language?

As hard as it is to be honest with other people

it can be even more difficult to be honest with ourselves

For years after I had children

I would say pretty often I don't feel guilty working even when no one asked

Someone might say, Sheryl, how's your day today?

And I would say, great I don't feel guilty working

Or do I need a sweater?

Yes, it's unpredictably freezing and I don't feel guilty working

I was kinda like a parrot with issues

Then one day on the treadmill, I was reading this article on Sociology Journal

about how people don't start out lying to other people

they start out lying to themselves

and the things we repeat most frequently

are often those lies

So the sweat was pouring down my face

I started wondering what do I repeat pretty frequently

and I realized I feel guilty working

I then did a lot of research

and I spent an entire year with my dear friend Nell Scovell

writing a book talking about how I was thinking and feeling

and I'm so grateful that so many women around the world connected to it

My book of course was called Fifty Shades of Grey

I can see a lot of you connected to it as well

We have even more work to do in being honest about the world we live in

We don't always see the hard truths

and once we see them, we don't always have the courage to speak out

When my classmates and I were in college

we thought that fight for gender equality was one that was over

Sure, most of the leaders in every industry were men

but we thought changing that was just a matter of time

Lamont Library right over there

one generation before us didn't let women through its doors

But by the time we sat in your seat, everything was equal

Harvard and Radcliffe was fully integrated

We didn't need feminism because we were already equals

We were wrong

I was wrong

The world was not equal then

and it is not equal now

I think nowadays

we don't just hide ourselves from the hard truth

and shut our eyes to the inequities

but we suffer from the tyranny of low expectations

In the last election cycle in the United States

women won 20% of the Senate seats

and all the headlines started screaming out

women take over the Senate

I felt like screaming back, wait a minute everyone

50% of the population getting 20% of the seats

That's not a takeover. That's an embarrassment

Just a few months ago this year

a very well respected and well-known business executives in Silicon Valley

invited me to give a speech to his club on social media

I've been to this club a few months before when I

have been invited for a friend's birthday

It was a beautiful building and I was wandering around

looking at it, looking for the women's room