He winced at my words, but the haunted look didn't leave his eyes.
他因为我的话而畏缩了一下，但那种饱受折磨的神情依然没有离开他的眼底。
"That's not the worst part, though," he continued to whisper. He acted as if I hadn't spoken. "Not seeing you there on the floor… crumpled and broken." His voice was choked. "Not thinking I was too late. Not even hearing you scream in pain all those unbearable memories that I'll carry with me for the rest of eternity. No, the very worst was feeling… knowing that I couldn't stop. Believing that I was going to kill you myself."
“不过，这还不是最糟糕部分。”他继续耳语着，表现得就好像我什么也没说一样。“不是看到你躺在地板上……扭曲着，伤痕累累。”他的声音有些梗咽。“不是以为我已经来得太迟。甚至不是听到了你痛苦的尖叫——这一切令人难以忍受的记忆都将会在我无尽的余生中纠缠着我。不，最糟糕的是那种感觉……我知道我没法停下来。我确信我会亲手杀了你的。”
"But you didn't."
“可你没有。”
"I could have. So easily."
“我会的。只差一点。”
I knew I needed to stay calm… but he was trying to talk himself into leaving me, and the panic fluttered in my lungs, trying to get out.
我知道我必须保持冷静……但他正在试图说服自己离开我，恐惧在我的肺部里挣扎着，想要冲出来。
"Promise me," I whispered.
“向我保证。”我耳语着。
"What?"
“什么？”
"You know what." I was starting to get angry now. He was so stubbornly determined to dwell on the negative.
“你知道的。”现在我开始生气了。他太固执地决心要详细描述那些消极的事情。
He heard the change in my tone. His eyes tightened. "I don't seem to be strong enough to stay away from you, so I suppose that you'll get your way… whether it kills you or not," he added roughly.
他听出了我语气的变化。他的眼神紧绷起来。“我不够坚强，没法让自己离开你，所以我猜你得用你自己的方式离开……不管这会不会杀了你。”他粗鲁地补充道。
