I turned away; I couldn't let her see my face.
我把头转向一旁。我不能让她看到我的表情。
My eye fell on a blank page of the hotel stationery on the desk. I went to it slowly, a plan forming. There was an envelope there, too. That was good.
我的目光落到桌子上那叠宾馆信纸最上面的一页白纸。我慢慢地走过去，一个计划在我脑海里成形了。同样，一封信的腹稿也成形了。好极了。
"Alice," I asked slowly, without turning, keeping my voice level. "If I write a letter for my mother, would you give it to her? Leave it at the house, I mean."
“爱丽丝，”我慢吞吞地说道，没有回头，依然让自己的声音波澜不兴。“如果我给我妈妈写封信，你能把信给她吗？我是说，把它留在屋子里。”
"Sure, Bella." Her voice was careful. She could see me coming apart at the seams. I had to keep my emotions under better control.
“当然，贝拉。”她的声音显得很谨慎。她看到出我在细微之处的破绽。我得更好地控制住自己的情绪。
I went into the bedroom again, and knelt next to the little bedside table to write.
我又走回了卧室，跪在那张小小的床头几前，开始写信。
"Edward," I wrote. My hand was shaking, the letters were hardly legible.
“爱德华，”我写道。我的手在颤抖，笔下的那些字母简直难以让人辨认。
I love you. I am so sorry. He has my mom, and I have to try. I know it may not work. I am so very, very sorry.
“我爱你。对不起。他抓住了我母亲，我只能放手一搏。我知道这可能没用。我非常，非常地抱歉。
Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get away from them it will be a miracle. Tell them thank you for me. Alice especially, please.
别生爱丽丝和贾斯帕的气。如果我能从他们身旁逃开，这绝对是个奇迹。替我感谢他们。尤其是爱丽丝。求你了。
And please, please, don't come after him. That's what he wants. I think. I can't bear it if anyone has to be hurt because of me, especially you. Please, this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me.
还有，千万，千万，不要跟着他。这正是他想要的。我是这样认为的。我再也承受不了有任何人因为我而受到伤害了，尤其是你。求你了，这是我现在唯一能向你要求的事。就当是为了我。
I love you. Forgive me.
我爱你。原谅我。
Bella, I folded the letter carefully, and sealed it in the envelope. Eventually he would find it. I only hoped he would understand, and listen to me just this once.
贝拉， 我小心地折起那封信，然后把它塞进信封里。他终有一日会发现的。我只希望他能理解，并且能听我的话，哪怕就这一次。
And then I carefully sealed away my heart.
然后我也小心地密封住了自己的心情。
