"Are you sure?"
“你确定?”
"Absolutely, Dad. Besides, the freezer is getting dangerously low on fish — we're down to a two, maybe three years' supply."
“完全肯定,爸爸。还有,冰箱里的鱼少得有点危险——我们只剩下可吃两年,或者三年的存量了。”
"You're sure easy to live with, Bella." He smiled.
“你能撑得过去的,贝拉。”他笑了起来。
"I could say the same thing about you," I said, laughing. The sound of my laughter was off, but he didn't seem to notice. I felt so guilty for deceiving him that I almost took Edward's advice and told him where I would be. Almost.
“对你我也可以这样说。”我说着,大笑起来。我的笑声有些突兀,但他没注意到。我为欺骗他而深感内疚,几乎就要采纳爱德华的建议,告诉他要去那里了。只是几乎。
After dinner, I folded clothes and moved another load through the dryer. Unfortunately it was the kind of job that only keeps hands busy. My mind definitely had too much free time, and it was getting out of control. I fluctuated between anticipation so intense that it was very nearly pain, and an insidious fear that picked at my resolve. I had to keep reminding myself that I'd made my choice, and I wasn't going back on it. I pulled his note out of my pocket much more often than necessary to absorb the two small words he'd written. He wants me to be safe, I told myself again and again. I would just hold on to the faith that, in the end, that desire would win out over the others. And what was my other choice — to cut him out of my life? Intolerable. Besides, since I'd come to Forks, it really seemed like my life was about him. But a tiny voice in the back of my mind worried, wondering if it would hurt very much… if it ended badly.
晚饭后,我把衣服叠好,又放了一堆进烘干机。不幸的是,这种工作只能让手忙着。我的脑子依然无所事事,于是它完全失控了。我在两种念头间动荡不安着,一方面我的期望是如此的强烈以致于这种感觉几近痛苦,而另一方面一种潜伏着的恐惧正蚕食着我的决心。我不得不一再地提醒自己,我已经作出了我的选择,而且我不打算回头。我太过频繁地把他的字条从口袋里拿出来看,汲取着他所写的两个小小的字。他希望我平安,我一遍又一遍地告诉自己。我只需要坚信着这一点,最终,这个渴望将战胜一切别的念头。而我的另一个选择——把他从我的生活里剔除掉又会怎么样呢?这将是我生命中不能承受之痛。此外,从我来到福克斯时起,他就已经成为了我的生命中的一切。 但在我心底的一个小小的声音在担心着,想知道这会不会非常地让人受创……如果结局不好的话。
I was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. I knew I was far too stressed to sleep, so I did something I'd never done before. I deliberately took unnecessary cold medicine — the kind that knocked me out for a good eight hours. I normally wouldn't condone that type of behavior in myself, but tomorrow would be complicated enough without me being loopy from sleep deprivation on top of everything else. While I waited for the drugs to kick in, I dried my clean hair till it was impeccably straight, and fussed over what I would wear tomorrow.
当时间已经太晚,已经到了睡觉时间的时候,我很是宽慰。我知道自己太紧张,根本没法睡着,所以我做了一件我从没做过的事。我故意吃了点感冒药,尽管我并不需要——这种药片能让我昏睡过去,好好地睡上八个小时。正常情况下我不会宽恕自己的这种行为,但明天的情况已经够复杂的了,我没有必要在所有别的事情之外,再雪上加霜地让自己因为睡眠不足而昏昏沉沉。在我等着药物生效的时候,我擦着自己洗得干干净净的头发,直到它直得无懈可击为止,然后焦躁不安地准备好明天要穿的衣服。
《暮光之城》与图书题目相得益彰的是,“暮光之城”系列别具匠心的封面设计则很好地传达出了每本书内在的深远寓意。斯蒂芬妮·梅尔指出《暮色》封面上的苹果代表“创世纪” 内善恶树上的禁果。象征贝拉和爱德华之间人类与吸血鬼禁忌的爱恋。在书的开头引用了“创世纪”217页的内容:“只是分别善恶树上的果子,你不可吃,因为你吃的日子必定死。”这同时也代表了贝拉如何分辨善恶——选择是否吃下那颗禁忌的果实,这比喻了选择跟爱德华在一起或远离他。