如何在不烦人的情况下联网

Networking. Just the thought of it may make you feel uncomfortable.

Who do you reach out to? What do you say? How do you stay in contact?

But even if it feels awkward, networking can play a major role in advancing your career.

"People are nervous about networking," said Marcia Ballinger, author of "The 20-Minute Networking Meeting" and co-founder of executive search firm Ballinger|Leafblad. She added that the majority of jobs people land tend to come through their network.

But you should be tactful with your approach.

"If you go into networking telling everyone you know you need a job and need help finding a job, people don't gravitate to that -- it makes people uncomfortable," Ballinger said. "If you go in and say: 'I want to reconnect with people, rebuild relationships, learn some things that will be valuable, share and contribute back,' the jobs will come."

If the thought of networking makes your stomach drop, here's how to make it as pain-free as possible while seeking your next job.

Use the network you already have

"Even if you think you don't know people, you do know some folks," said Kimberly Cummings, author of "Next Move, Best Move: Transitioning into a Career You'll Love."

That means looking to family, friends, mentors, sponsors, current and former co-workers, people you volunteer with or are in professional organizations with, that might be able to assist in your job search. That can include having someone pass along your resume, connect you with a hiring manager, make introductions or explain how they successfully changed careers into the industry you also want to pursue.

Have you recently quit your job? Tell us all about it here.

"Focus on the people you actually liked and enjoyed and had some sort of camaraderie with. Your network is not the same as everybody you've ever met," said Karen Wickre, author of "Taking the Work out of Networking." "It is a set of people you have a good feeling about even if you don't know them well or your experience together was a long time ago, that is a good basis for people that you can reach out to in a friendly way."

Be clear

When reaching out to people you know directly, provide a concise background of what's going on and what you are looking for.

"It's a paragraph or two where you say: 'I am looking for this, I've done this. Now, I want to do that or I am interested in this, or I'd like my next job to be this," said Wickre. "Help that person know how to help you. Give them something, not just: 'I'd like a new job and I thought you might have ideas for me.'"

For instance, if you applied to a role and you know someone at the company, reach out. "If you have even the thinnest connection to somebody there, absolutely parlay that," said Ballinger.

You can say something like: I am looking for my next job opportunity and I recently applied to a position at your company and was wondering if you have 15 to 20 minutes for a conversation so I can learn more about your experience.

"The best approach isn't 'can you get me in?' It's a little more 'what can you share? I'd love to learn more. Anyone else you think I should connect with as part of my application process?'" said Ballinger.

All the people in your immediate network know people, too, which can then create an extended network if they are willing to connect you with their contacts. This can lead to getting the name of a hiring manager or recruiter to directly submit your resume to.

"One question to ask in every networking conversation is: 'Is there anyone else in your network you feel would be beneficial for me to meet? And if so, would you be willing to facilitate an introduction?' That can immediately start opening up some doors," said Cummings.

Don't be afraid of a cold reach-out

Sometimes, your network doesn't have what you need and you have to start from scratch.

A little online research can help you find employees of a company you are interested in working for or professionals that have made similar career transitions that would be good to connect with.

Reaching out to someone you don't know can be intimidating, but there are ways to make it seem a little more personal. Review LinkedIn and other social media pages to help find some commonality, whether it was attending the same college, doing similar volunteer work or growing up in the same area that can help break the ice in your initial contact.

A little flattery can also help, like mentioning a recent award or promotion they received or saying how much you enjoyed a recent post they made on LinkedIn or social media.

The key is to show you've done your research and to be clear with what you are requesting.

"Don't say, 'I want to pick your brain,' that is the worst thing you can say to someone," said Jacqueline Whitmore, business etiquette expert and founder of the Protocol School of Palm Beach. "It sounds like you are a taker and you don't want to be perceived as a taker, but more of a learner or someone who is curious and willing to go the extra mile to do what it takes to make a good first impression. Who has time to sit with someone who wants to pick their brain?"

Come prepared to the initial meeting

You should come prepared with a lot of questions for your networking meeting or phone call, but "can I have a job?" isn't one of them.

Research as much as you can about the person you are meeting with and the company so you can ask pointed questions. If you are meeting with someone for the first time, the goal is to learn more about their background and expertise.

"Ask them something you can't readily and easily find out about them on the internet," said Ballinger. To learn more about the person, she suggested asking specific questions like: "You've moved from finance in a corporate setting into finance in higher education, I am also interested in higher education. Can you tell me about that transition?"

The goal is to establish a connection with that person.

"In that initial conversation, we shouldn't be focusing on the ask of you wanting to get connected to a job. You want to make sure you are connecting to that person and building that relationship first," said Cummings.

You can mention that you are job hunting, but Cummings said to remove any expectations.

Give the person you are reaching out to control over where, when and how (virtual, phone, coffee) the meeting will go. Experts agreed that 20 minutes is enough time for an initial meeting.

Stay in 'loose touch'

Networking is an ongoing process.

"Just meeting someone doesn't mean they are in your network," said Cummings. "After you have the coffee chat, that is level 1, you are now in their attention...but not yet a friend."

She suggests following up immediately by thanking them for their time, mentioning something specific from the meeting that you found particularly helpful or interesting and that you'd like to stay in touch.

And it doesn't have to be overly complicated.

"Keep in loose touch," said Wickre. "This is the key to having a good network: You are intermittently and very informally and casually in touch with people and it doesn't have to be a two-way exchange."

The good news is there are a lot of digital platforms that can help you do this. It can be sending an email about an interesting article that you think the person would like, commenting on a LinkedIn post, telling them how beautiful their vacation photos are on Instagram, or sending a direct message on Twitter.

如何在不烦人的情况下联网

联网。光是想到它，你就会觉得不舒服。

你联系谁？你怎么说？你如何保持联系？

但即使感觉很尴尬，网络也可以在促进你的职业生涯中发挥重要作用。

“人们对网络感到紧张，”《20 分钟网络会议》的作者、猎头公司 Ballinger|Leafblad 的联合创始人玛西娅·巴林格 (Marcia Ballinger) 说。她补充说，人们获得的大多数工作往往是通过他们的网络获得的。

但是你的方法应该委婉。

“如果你进入网络告诉所有人你知道你需要一份工作并需要帮助找工作，人们不会被吸引 - 这会让人们感到不舒服，”巴林格说。 “如果你进去说：‘我想重新与人建立联系，重建关系，学习一些有价值的东西，分享和回馈'，工作就会来。”

如果网络的想法让你胃口大开，下面是如何在寻找下一份工作时尽可能让它无痛的方法。

使用您已有的网络

“即使你认为自己不认识人，但你确实认识一些人，”《下一步行动，最佳行动：过渡到你会喜欢的职业》一书的作者金伯利·卡明斯 (Kimberly Cummings) 说。

这意味着向家人、朋友、导师、赞助商、现任和前任同事、您的志愿者或专业组织中的人寻求帮助，他们可能会帮助您找工作。这可以包括让某人传递您的简历，将您与招聘经理联系起来，进行介绍或解释他们如何成功地将职业转变为您也想从事的行业。

你最近辞职了吗？在这里告诉我们一切。

“关注那些你真正喜欢和喜欢的人，并与之有某种情谊。你的网络与你见过的每个人都不一样，”“从网络中解放出来”一书的作者凯伦威克尔说。 “即使你不熟悉他们，或者你们的共同经历是很久以前的，但你对这群人有很好的感觉，这是一个很好的基础，你可以以友好的方式联系他们。 ”

清楚

与您直接认识的人联系时，请提供有关正在发生的事情和您正在寻找的内容的简明背景。

“有一两段你会说：‘我在找这个，我已经做了这个。现在，我想做那个，或者我对这个感兴趣，或者我希望我的下一份工作就是这个，”维克雷说。 “帮助那个人知道如何帮助你。给他们一些东西，而不仅仅是：'我想要一份新工作，我认为你可能对我有想法。'”

例如，如果您申请了某个职位并且您认识公司中的某个人，请联系。巴林格说：“如果你与那里的某个人有最密切的联系，绝对可以利用这一点。”

你可以这样说：我正在寻找下一个工作机会，我最近申请了贵公司的一个职位，想知道你是否有 15 到 20 分钟的谈话时间，以便我可以更多地了解你的经历。

“最好的方法不是'你能把我弄进去吗？'多一点'你能分享什么？我很想了解更多。你认为我应该与其他任何人联系作为我申请过程的一部分吗？'”巴林格说。

您直接网络中的所有人也都认识人，如果他们愿意将您与他们的联系人联系起来，那么他们可以创建一个扩展网络。这可能会导致获得招聘经理或招聘人员的姓名以直接向其提交简历。

“在每次社交对话中要问的一个问题是：'你觉得在你的社交网络中还有其他人对我有帮助吗？如果是的话，你愿意介绍一下吗？'这可以立即开始打开一些门，”卡明斯说。

不要害怕冷的伸出手

有时，您的网络没有您需要的东西，您必须从头开始。

一些在线研究可以帮助您找到您有兴趣为其工作的公司的员工或进行过类似职业转变的专业人士，这些专业人士可以很好地与之建立联系。

向不认识的人伸出援手可能会令人生畏，但有一些方法可以让它看起来更加个性化。查看 LinkedIn 和其他社交媒体页面，以帮助找到一些共同点，无论是就读同一所大学、从事类似的志愿者工作还是在同一地区长大，都可以帮助打破最初接触的僵局。

一些奉承也会有所帮助，例如提及他们最近获得的奖项或晋升，或者说您对他们最近在 LinkedIn 或社交媒体上发布的帖子感到非常满意。

关键是要表明你已经完成了你的研究并清楚你的要求。

“不要说，'我想挑剔你的大脑'，这是你能对某人说的最糟糕的事情，”商务礼仪专家、棕榈滩礼宾学院创始人杰奎琳·惠特莫尔说。 “听起来你是一个接受者，你不希望被视为接受者，但更像是一个学习者或一个好奇的人，愿意付出额外的努力来留下良好的第一印象。谁有时间和一个想挑脑子的人坐在一起？”

为初次会议做好准备

你应该为你的社交会议或电话准备很多问题，但是“我可以找份工作吗？”不是其中之一。

尽可能多地研究你会见的人和公司，这样你就可以提出尖锐的问题。如果您是第一次与某人会面，目标是更多地了解他们的背景和专业知识。

巴林格说：“向他们询问一些你在互联网上无法轻易找到的事情。”为了更多地了解这个人，她建议问一些具体的问题，比如：“你已经从企业环境中的金融转向了高等教育中的金融，我也对高等教育感兴趣。你能告诉我这个转变吗？”

目标是与那个人建立联系。

“在最初的谈话中，我们不应该关注你想要与工作建立联系的要求。你要确保你与那个人建立联系并首先建立这种关系，”卡明斯说。

你可以提到你在找工作，但卡明斯说要取消任何期望。

让您联系的人控制会议的地点、时间和方式（虚拟、电话、咖啡）。专家们一致认为，20 分钟的时间足以召开初次会议。

保持“松散联系”

联网是一个持续的过程。

“只是会见某人并不意味着他们在你的网络中，”卡明斯说。 “在你喝完咖啡聊天后，那是 1 级，你现在在他们的注意力中……但还不是朋友。”

她建议立即跟进，感谢他们的时间，提及会议中您认为特别有帮助或有趣并且您希望保持联系的具体内容。

它不必过于复杂。

“保持松散的联系，”维克尔说。 “这是拥有良好网络的关键：你会间歇性地、非常非正式地和随意地与人接触，这不一定是双向的交流。”

好消息是有很多数字平台可以帮助您做到这一点。它可以发送一封电子邮件，介绍您认为该人会喜欢的一篇有趣的文章，在 LinkedIn 上发表评论，告诉他们在 Instagram 上的假期照片有多美，或者在 Twitter 上直接发送消息。